Thursday, November 29, 2012

Women Are Ruining Marriage

I know you all have probably already seen Suzanne Venker's article on Fox News, in which she bemoans the fact that there are no marriageable men and then asks, "What if the dearth of good men, and ongoing battle of the sexes, is women's fault?" But, UGH. Things like this article make me want to scream. And throw up.

Who are these men who are refusing to get married because "women aren't women anymore"? They sound like misogynistic jerks. And I don't know why anyone, especially any woman, would think that these men become more "marriageable" if women only stopped going to school and pursuing careers.

Thankfully, we have Suzanne Venker to try and convince us that we should think that way because, well, because of SCIENCE. You see, according to Venker:
"The so-called rise of women has not threatened men. It has pissed them off. It has also undermined their ability to be self-sufficient in the hopes of someday supporting a family. Men want to love women, not compete with them. They want to provide for and protect their families - it's in their DNA. But modern women won't let them." 

So, women, we are undermining men's ability to do things in life because we are also doing things with our lives. This makes the men  - and apparently their DNA - sad. And yet, even though the men are apparently the ones who are sad and we're the ones running around pursuing silly things like an education and career, we lose. Because the men we would be marrying are such entitled jerks that they would rather be a "slacker" than compete with women.

We are really missing out on all these would-be-great-if-it-wasn't-for-stupid-feminism men!

Destroying these patriarchal men and their dreams of a patriarchal marriage is a serious accusation. One that, if true, does demand some reflection. I encourage all women to do what Venker says and "look in the mirror and ask what role [you've] played in bringing about this transformation."

Then give your educated, employed, feminist-self a little pat on the back.


  1. That was the exact same thing going through my head. Who would want to marry some guy who refuses to make something out of himself because others around him are succeeding?

    I believe these silly articles are one of the many reasons Fox doesn't allow comments.

  2. Brilliant critique! Who allowed this lady to publish three books?

  3. Who allowed woman to have drivers licensees? A road between the bedroom and kitchen? I think not!

  4. She says it herself, "Men haven’t changed much ... but women have changed dramatically." Women have taken on the roles of women and men, yet men can hardly handle what is part of their own DNA. If we go through history we will see that there are points when women only required men to procreate. They didn't rely on them for shelter, food or helping raise their children. Sounds to me that this point in time of our culture is just another round of powerful women who don't need a man for anything but children. God forbid that women have learned to take care of themselves and their children on their own given that it seems men have given up on them anyway.

  5. I want to say that feminism is a problem, not because it empowers women. This is a good thing for women, it gives them freedom. However it violates the order that has been established over many milenium. Women want the roles, of both man and women, let them have it I say. However tell me how fufilling is a life working yourself to the bone to pay for kids, then having to come home and raise them also with no support? No matter how hard you try as a woman and or a man doing both and being good at both is counter productive. You can excell at your career but your children will pay for it with your absence. You can be a good homemaker but your career will suffer for your absense. Additionaly I find alot of women now desire conflicting attributes from a man they want a tough sensitive man. I have never found a tough sensitive man these qualities cannot coexist. There are more requirements for women that want it all. However you cannot have it all and wanting it all is only an exersize in futility, and leads to failure. To the feminsts I wish you all a bunch of luck in your endevors. However to try and turn the order 4 billion years of evolution will only lead to extinction. The proof is already here cultures that embrace feminism are producing a lot less children than cultures that do not embrace feminism. So yes nature will abolish feminism in it's own way, it's not my rules so don't get mad at me.

    1. Anonymous - There are actually many studies that show that the children of working parents do not suffer at all. On the contrary, many of them are excelling! There are also many women who successfully manage to have both a career and children. And I'm not at all convinced by either an evolutionary argument for different gender roles or the idea that nature will abolish feminism.

    2. As long as a man is not leeching off my efforts, then I am strong enough and capable enough to fulfill my own needs and were I to have kids their needs as well. Plenty of women do so on a regular basis. It is not ideal, single-motherhood, but it is better than being a wedded single-mother with a leech of a husband. As for the idea that being tough and sensitive is an impossibility, I strongly disagree. Women are often both of these things. It is a continuation of damaging gender stereotypes to allow men or insist that men remain underdeveloped as a human by believing they are limited in their social abilities. If women are capable of the same human social strides as men, men are capable of the same human social strides as women. Socially, anyway. Obviously, they do not have a uterus, and childbearing will always be our biological burden.

  6. You have avoided the point of the article completely. If you don't want to be married. No problem. Don't.
    If you want to be married then you need to consider the other person and place their needs first in a reciprocal but different fashion.
    You need to consider why would a man want to marry an angry defensive woman with a chip on her shoulder. You need to consider what you bring to the table. Men have changed. They don't need a woman for traditional reasons. They do all that for themselves.

    "But after decades of browbeating the American male, men are tired. Tired of being told there’s something fundamentally wrong with them. Tired of being told that if women aren’t happy, it’s men’s fault.

    Read more:
    The other issue is that men have choices. Men don't need to marry a woman who thinks men are "...such entitled jerks that they would rather be a "slacker" than compete with women".
    Men aren't interested in completing with their wife. You are all on your own in that race.
    Men want a a wife to love. Not to complete with. It says so in that article.
    So if your idea of marriage is a competition - just make that very clear to any man you date. Otherwise you are being decitful.
    Don't blame men, when you did not make it clear from the first date that you view marriage as a competition. That is something your male date has a right to know.
    You can go searching for this competitive marriage. Just be honest about it. We all know how that search will end up.

    1. I have not avoided the point of the article completely. The point of her article is that men don't want to get married anymore because "women aren't women anymore." She is arguing, as you point out, that men don't want to get married because they're not interested in competing with their wife; that they don't want to marry women who have a career and an education and believe in their own equality.

      The entire problem with the article is that Venker is calling women who believe in their own equality and are out doing things other than trying to get married and have babies "angry defensive women with a chip on their shoulder" (as you put it). Being a feminist doesn't make me an "angry defensive woman with a chip on my shoulder."

      Really, it is you who misses the point of the article. She isn't saying that women view marriage as a competition. She says that men view it as a competition and that they don't want to compete with women; that men don't want to get married because "women aren't women anymore." So despite your advice, I don't need to go warning men that I view marriage as a competition, because I and most feminists view it as an equal partnership. But more men do need to confront the fact that they think of it as a competition. And, I would argue, they need to get over that way of (patriarchal) thinking.

  7. Sorry, but men are tired of the double standard. The comfortable lifestyle we all enjoy is largely a creation of men, protected by men and maintained by men, and yet we have been taught for the last 50 years that all the male attributes that have created all this are somehow evil. The only reason women have all of these comforts is because men have created it for them.

    1. Yep, happily married a Thai girl. 44 well off, six figure income alpha male here living the dream, treat my girl like a queen and she takes care of me, she is strong, smart, empowered female, but despises the feminism mantra and agenda. Yin and Yang, we complete each other as complimentary opposites.

  8. I agree with the Oct 1 2013 commenter that men are sick of the double standard and are voting with their feet (so to speak). In the last few decades, marriage has really become a bad deal for men. Furthermore, the second they say "I do" they are in the middle of an intractable labyrinth of legal "gotcha's" if they should decide they want out (for any reason). Having children will exponentially worsen the problem. The result is scores of unhappy men trapped in marriages they no longer want. Some are smart enough to see this coming or hear about it from disenchanted husbands, others walk blindly into the snare. A tiny fraction get what they thought they were getting, and good on them.

    I concede that well educated, financially viable, increasingly independent women are a good thing. However, the relationships between men and women (and the legal constructs surrounding these relationships) have not evolved nearly as fast as the independent sexes have, and you're seeing some of the problems that arise from this. It's incorrect to blame men as the sole bearers of fault here. Even IF we were solely to blame for your inability to find a mate who meets your increasingly unrealistic criteria, blaming us for our own shortcomings is hardly a solution to the problem (men have been childish pigs for eons, and you're just now noticing?).

    Stop whining about how someone doesn't fit your preconceived notion of acceptable, and do something useful for the species. It's not about men vs women, it's about us vs extinction.

  9. As an Alpha Male myself, I find articles like this hilarious as they are clearly written by women with no concept of reality. You can argue with all the passion and sincerity in the world, but it won't change the fact that no Alpha Male wants to marry a female version of an Alpha Male. When you are old and lonely (by the way, how far away is 40 for you?); please keep giving yourself an employed, educated, feminist pat on the back. In a flash you will hit 60 and you will sadly realize that your only real friend is your cat (or if your career allows time for it, a dog) because you wasted your youth in an office/cubicle attempting to impress men (and other Alpha women) with your abilities to dot i's and cross t's. On that note, when you are at Starbucks sipping your fat-free-soy-frappe all by your lonesome, please don't stare at my wife and I in jealousy; it's awkward...

    Alpha Male

  10. I've seen too many lives destroyed through divorce. I'll never get married or have kids. I agree with other posters on the competition issue being a huge negative in marriage or dating. I've dated women with this attitude as well. One former girlfriend told me that the reason she got her Masters degree was that her previous, long term boyfriend had one and it ate her up inside. She could not stand that he was better educated than she was. I could tell from her words and actions that she wanted to take the lead in that relationship, which lead me to end our relationship. It wasn't about equality for her. She wanted superiority. I don't believe that feminism is about equality and I don't believe those that say otherwise. I think feminism is about giving women the upper hand in all things and marginalizing men to the extent possible. Marriage has been on the decline for decades and will continue its downward slide as the decades pass. In my view, marriage is obsolete and should be avoided.

  11. It has little do with competing in the marketplace with women. I am happy that women pursue careers, make equal money(as they should)get an education, etc. Feminism has destroyed the American woman by making men their enemy and if you don't think repeatedly using the word "patriarchy" reflects that, you are 100% wrong. Second, it's not that men are threatened by strong women it's that women, especially feminists, are completely threatened by male behavior, especially dominant male behavior that seeks to be in charge, and because of that turn relationships into a battle of wills. And all this carping about how women want "equality" is a lie. You don't want equality. You want domination the same way every totalitarian does and use the language of "equality" in the same way. Marriage has become a no-win situation for men because if a divorce happens the women are now always right and we get hosed. And why go through all that trouble to marry someone who thinks you're their enemy, wants to destroy you, and deep down hates who you are? Be happy you have your job, give yourself a pat on the back for your "independence" but when you hit your early 40's, have no kids, and are crying to shrink about it, the reason should be obvious. We no longer need you(other than for sex) and you're not worth the bother.

  12. Feminism is pure evil. All great civilizations start out as strong patriarchies that value the family and male leadership after the society becomes wealthy women start gaining higher status. The problem is that women are hypergamous in nature and seek to marry up, so now there is a smaller pool of men to choose from. And these men having many options will not settle. Feminism destroys the institution of marriage which motivates men to seek careers to provide for their families. If women are giving it up in their 20s and not valuing chastity why would men work hard in their 20s to marry a woman who has not honored her side of the contract when they reach their 30s. Matriarchies and feminism will lead to high divorce rates, single moms, poverty, a huge welfare state, and broken families and communities. It is a lie to say that women are exactly like men and it will destroy our society.

    1. Pretty accurate. I don't about evil or just a delayed learning correction. Things change and so will this women's entittlement.

  13. This article does reveal the fact that feminist women love to compete, they claim men won't marry because they refuse to compete, marriage is supposed to be a balanced harmony of complimentary opposites, not a competition, feminist women love to argue evey little thing in a relationship, constantly affirming her independence and equality, they really are unbearable people. They confuse empowered confident behaviour with being an egotistical argumentative bitch. But they are free to be that, and men will refuse to be with them, we will not support their lifestyle either, men should stay single, travel the world, sleeping with foreign women, paid for or otherwise, always protect themselves from false rape claims or pregnancy until they are ready to retire and move to the foreign country and take a wife their. This way we can minimise the tax revenue we generate for the. Govt to redistribute to the influx of single feminist mothers society will have to support. Just have nothing to do with the western female at all, neither the feminists nor the good ones, the whole system must be punished and feminism blamed for the failed lives of all women, most women want kids, marriage etc, deny them that and tell them why, blame feminism, and await the backlash.

  14. Western women offer us nothing but divorce,lifetime alimony,child support,no fault divorce and maternal presumption...
    Men are finally waking up to cinderalla's with fangs and are going their own way in life...
    Marriage,children and the American dream is slavery...and men are tired of marrying overpriced,overvalued women who offer us nothing but broken backs as we provide for unappreciative women and children who could give a damn about our sacrifice in the work place.
    The western women just is not worth dating or marrying anymore...Then while women compete with men,they lost all sense of femininity and carry themselves like drunken sailors...
    Yes women who are drunken sailors are fun to date and never call back...When did trashy women start to think men wanted to marry them???? MGTOW for life!!!

  15. One of the things that makes a human being a good person I believe is the ability to look at their faults and the harm they have caused and acknowledge it all. And hopefully do something to rectify it. This goes for both men and women.

    One of the biggest downfalls with the indoctrination of feminism is now whenever anyone - again, male or female - points out the faults of feminism and how most women conduct themselves these days women immediately take the defensive and claim men hate and resent them for their power. No...we would just like you to take a look at the negative statistics single parent homes have on children and society. Fatherless children are 4 times more likely to become criminals. Divorces in North America are initiated by women at a rate of 80%. Children are most affected by divorce and this is a known fact.

    Feminism advocates divorce. For the most minor reasons. Women can now divorce by claiming they are unsatisfied. As if marriage and men are going to fulfill every single one of their needs and wants and if it they don't it's time to break things up, screw the kids' heads up and pillage the man for all that he's worth.

    Feminists and the government can only ignore and fudge the statistics for so long before society is so horrendous to live in that walking out your front door will be akin to walking into a war zone. Call me an extremist, that's fine. But with how fast the world population is growing, how many new criminals we're breeding each year and how human beings treat one another, it's inevitable.

    Feminism is only part of the problem. We have so many others in our society. However, there can be no argument that what started off as a very needed and beneficial movement for women has turned into a monster that one day will be very hard to negate.

    Men are waking up what's going on, that's all. We don't hate women. We are leery of them, their lawyers and the misandric minded governments that destroy our lives because we were born as males and everything about being male is 'wrong'.

    The world needs to wake up. We are destroying our beautiful children with gender hatred, propaganda and lies. Let's think for ourselves and stop listening to those who have no soul. Because that's what's happening in a nutshell.

  16. Some of the statements here the most Egotistical nonsense I have ever seen. Do you even know what the "patriarchal" is? Please go on? Those times had MEN AND Women both doing their jobs. What stopped women from building their own homes? Cutting down thousands of hundred+ pound trees? Work the lands and put those homes together? Break animals in and hunt/ gather food? Nobody did. Men were just "Imprisoned" dragging massive stones across the desert to build castles as Women were to cooking and keeping the home they married to begin with in order.

    Unless you were Rich there was no "patriarchal" nonsense. it was teamwork. And in those upper class castles Women were treasures while men had to die to protect them. Ever heard of a queen? Most of these "Horribly" treated "patriarchal" sufferers own dresses that cost a near fortune. Never had to lift a finger and so on.

    Feminism is a joke. The women who started the movement would be shamed of what it has become. You want to work? You want equality? Then stop expecting the Government to treat you like princesses. Change the Laws because as of now the legal system looks to women as helpless children. Why does a woman automatically get entitled to a mans hard work just because she wanted to fufil her ego and have her special day? Why does a woman automatically get the kids when she chooses to break her vows? Why are there 20+ organizations for womens free healthcare yet ZERO for men? Your "equality" is a joke. The Moment a man decides to Not follow his "role" he is spit on by women. The moment he isn't chained to his role he is Kicked to the curb.

    So Women are free to do anything with NO responsibly but Men should and MUST abide to serving women or they are not men? As of now It's WOMEN who are the hypocrites in "patriarchal" Society. There isn't a single man who doesn't think a woman can't work.

    But there is a majority population that says a man MUST work and a woman MUST be allowed to Not work and have the choice to work at the same time.

  17. Ah, yes, a pretty gal who attended Yale who probably has no idea what the real world is like... Enjoy life inside your bubble...

  18. "Because the men we would be marrying are such entitled jerks that they would rather be a "slacker" than compete with women."

    First off, you're barely making sense, but what you're typed there is so beyond the pale stupid and wrong, I felt that I had to point it out to you. I'm a single man and I'm already in direct competition with every other man out there for the attention of women, competition for jobs, competition for the projects I'm working on, besides all the chores and duties of day-to-day life that I need to accomplish to keep order. Small things like, feeding myself (since it's not a woman's job certainly, ever, right?) and doing everything else.

    So, the LAST thing I need as a single man, is to compete with another entity, much less a beautiful woman that I'd like to be the mother of my children.

    You feminists expect men to go out and work, clean the house, take care of the kids, and also to be mysterious, and like a white knight, and last but not least, to have money. It's an impossible goal to achieve.

    You can't have a mysterious bad boy, and also a stable, meek, slave-like provider who will bow to your womanly will all in one man-he does not exist!

    Maybe someday you'll understand how brainwashed you are, perhaps it will be when you're old and no man in their right mind would want you anyway, but hopefully you'll learn far before then. :)

  19. Well with so many women today that have their Careers since they have their high paying job, they now think their all that since they are making much more Money than many of us men do. Very hard finding a Good woman that Can Accept us men for who we are, since many of us Don't make as much Money as they do. The Good old fashioned women of years ago were the Best since many Men And Women had to Struggle back then to make ends meat, and now with so many high maintenance women out there these days Certainly makes it worse. That is why many Marriages back then lasted a very long time since Both men and women made it work. Years ago there was no such thing as a high maintenance woman either since many of the women back then Never knew the meaning.